Thursday, September 10, 2009

How to Not Be a Food Tourist in New York


This guy's pizza-eating technique is so wrong.

I've been tasked with devising a list of tips for not looking like a tourist in New York, focusing on food. Last night I brainstormed with The Eyes (one of my sisters) and Boyfriend, though they didn't get into it as much as I did.

Here's my list-in-progress:

1. Pizza by the slice should be folded in half and shoveled into one's mouth in gaping bites. Upscale, sit-down pizzeria pizza gets the knife-and-fork treatment.

2. Eat a bagel, but don't get anything crazy, just the basic plain, or poppy, or sesame with cream cheese. Then go next door to the deli and order coffee "regular" (milk and one sugar), or "light and sweet," or "milk no sugar" or "black." Sorry, but black with sugar is not really an option.

3. Never ever eat in Times Square. See Times Square (we all know you want to), but walk west immediately thereafter to 9th Avenue to nosh.

4. It's pronounced... "RUGG-lah" or "RUGG-a-lah." And while I'm at it, it's pronounced "pie-AY-yuh" not "pie-ELL-ah" (I'm looking at you, British-English speakers!).

5. Tip $1 per drink, $2 for hand-shaken cocktails, and only with bills, never in coins! If the bartender is cute, linger a moment at the bar, then tip $5 for the round, even if your friends are going to make fun of you for liking skanky, tatoo-clad bartenders.

4 comments:

Leigh said...

What? No double double for your coffee?
:) That's how they order in Buffalo. It makes me confused.

jennifer said...

3-5 is solid advice.
but 1, folding your pizza means they made it wrong!
2. don't get a bagel from just anywhere. if you don't see any bagel cases fogging, you are in the wrong place.
i only drink my coffee dark & sweet. and, if appropriate, wink and say "just like i like my men...".

i like this post. i always "study up" when i go to a foreign city to make sure i don't look like a tourist.
i've lived in the nyc for 19years. i'll have to think if i can contribute to your list.

ba said...

1) screw that, i ALWAYS eat my pizza folded in half, crammed down the craw, fancy place or no. but you saw that tonight.

2)bagel - plain, with a shmear (pronounced Shm-ee-yah) and lox (nova). maybe onions. sesame if you MUST.

2a) i actually just learned that "coffee regular" bullshit last year, solving years of my annoyance after wanting a black coffee, asking for "a regular coffee" and getting "a coffee regular"

4) i pronounce it "rugg-a-lacccchhhh" (with heavy phlegm)

Jill Duffy said...

I have to disagree with "schmear." I've never heard anyone actually say that, except outside New York, where it is believed that all New Yorkers use the word. What I do hear (and what I remember hearing when I worked at a bagel shop) is the lengthy "a light amount of cream cheese," or more often, "a light amount of lite cream cheese." But either way, the point is to not get a double-stuffed cream cheese sandwich!

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